Self-Abandonment Theory
I have a book in the works…
Self-Abandon No More:
A Therapist’s Quest for Wholeness
I’ve written an instructive memoire for women seeking guidance on their own identity reinvention journey. I believe major life upheaval comes to usher in a brave new horizon for each of us. I use my clinical practice and psychological theory as well as my own single parenting experience to outline a path for courageous women like you. This is the story about how I cultivated self-efficacy and humility on my own precarious path toward feminine wholeness and achieved identity.
My journey proves the quest for selfhood is not without its hazards—it’s a very personal, almost sacred battle against the internal addiction to the false notion that the secret sauce of life can only be found outside of oneself. This book was written with my own blood, sweat and tears. If I am successful, you will see how self-forgiveness, self-love, spiritual reckoning, and most of all redemption, undergird my story.
“Love is on the other side of self-abandonment—not the kind we’ve been searching for outside ourselves, but something steadier and more lasting: the knowledge that we will never abandon ourselves again.”
We are creating a wait list here for my book, if you would like to be first to get your own copy.
“Margo is compassionate, understanding, and truly gifted as a therapist. She has a warm special way of making your feel heard, supported and never judged. Her kindness, wisdom and dedication have made such a difference in my life.” —Ellen K.
What we lose when we self-abandon:
We lose ourselves in our relationships.
We lose our self-respect. We drink too much, overeat, starve or binge on everything.
We lose our self-esteem. We people please. We look to others to provide our security and relevance.
We Lose Ourselves. Not A Little. It’s Gradual, And Eventually We Lose The Whole Thing.
Securely Self-Attached feels really good:
We feel solid in ourselves and solid in our relationships.
Our self-esteem and self-efficacy blossoms naturally. We have an internal self-loving barometer about food, drinking and scrolling—we are free.
We learn to please ourselves and provide our own rock solid security.
We come home to the steadier more lasting love: the knowledge that we will never abandon ourselves again.
“Self-abandonment is one of the most secretive and costly things we do to ourselves. Nobody writes in their diary that they want to self-abandon when they grow up — yet we do it all the time. We learned early to be quiet, to be good, to put ourselves last. We didn't know that looking to others for our worth was slowly hollowing us out. We look outside ourselves to fix what only we can heal, and every time we do, we lose ourselves. Not a little. It’s gradual. And eventually e lose the whole thing. This is how self-abandonment becomes the root of every self-annihilating behavior we know — the drinking, the overworking, the over-giving, the compulsive numbing, the not-eating or the overeating, the relationships we stay in too long. We don't do these things because we are broken, we do them because we lost ourselves and we are desperately trying to find our way back. The good news is that self-abandonment can be healed.
Love is on the other side of self-abandonment—not the kind we’ve been searching for outside ourselves, but something steadier and more lasting: the knowledge that we will never abandon ourselves again.”
Through Self-Abandon Theory, I explain the missing link for understanding and treating codependent and addictive behaviors, because at the heart of every unskillful behavior there is an inability to prioritize secure attachment to self.
OUR TOOLS WILL HELP YOU
1. FIND LANGUAGE FOR YOUR EXPERIENCE: Name what self-abandonment actually looks like and feels like in daily life.
2. GAIN INSIGHT INTO YOUR SELF-ABANDONING PATTERNS: See where you have been looking outside of yourself for what only you can give to yourself.
3. UNDERSTAND HOW TO CREATE SECURE ATTACHMENT TO SELF: Build a steadier more internally grounded security where you have your own back no matter what.
4. FORGE YOUR OWN PATH TOWARD IDENTITY ACHIEVEMENT: Learning how to meet life’s obstacles as a heroic quest can instill a stronger belief in your values and greater purpose. This is the foundation of identity achievement.
By understanding how self-abandonment siphons off your power and happiness, you can build a secure attachment to self and absolutely improve every area of your life! Please join our wholeness quest.
Note: This website is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy.